Who doesn’t love a good horror movie? Well I don’t like horror movies. They scare the shit out of me and I’m half of the time covering myself up. But this day, I’m going to “marathon” FOUR movies. Here’s the list in the order that I’m going to watch them.
Paranormal Activity 5 (gotta start with something soft and laughable)
V/H/S (gets recommended all the time)
Pulse (The Japanese version)
Alright let’s do it
PARANORMAL ACTIVITY: THE GHOST DIMENSION
The title of this movie is almost as shitty as this piece of garbage was. It was literally like all other Paranormal Activity movies out there. Y’know, the ones that follow this formula:
- people are in home, have fun
- slight paranormal stuff happens
- oh no! the child is acting up!
- the child is insane but we don’t belive you, so we will just install some cameras, ok?
- what the fuck thing is fucked up cameras are going wild what the fuck
- but you know what we can do other than moving out?
- Yeah, let’s call here our expert in paranormal stuff
- wild ass poltergeist throwing shit
- everyone dies
- camera stays on floor and we get a final jumpscare
Now, in this movie, there were THREE of the worse scenes ever.
The scene was the woman whose name I already have forgotten sees the footage of the man getting his back fixed by Tobi, while she says IN ONE OF THE WORST ACTING EVER the thing captioned in the pic here. Literally the most forced line ever, it’s like the actress didn’t even care about the movie.
Then we have the scene were they rip off The Pan’s Labyrinth (and Coraline). You know, the fucking wall opens up and she goes in there for like an hour or something. Really shitty scene with some incredibly stupid effects (Well the whole movie had some horrible effects, like when Tobi first appears. HE IS MADE OUT OF SMOKE OH NOES!!!)
The final scene. It was so shit. I mean. I can’t even talk about how terrible it was. Jesus christ.It’s like the whole movie builded up for this moment and they just gave us some stale pasta in return (for waiting ONE HOUR AND A HALF)
The rating for this movie is an obvious 3/10, would never watch again. It should be a 2/10 but it had some laughable moments (not when they were cracking jokes though) Let’s move on to V/H/S